Tamales, Snow, Crocheted things

So the fieldwork semester for Teacher Credentialing has ended and TPA 2 has been successfully passed with 3 out of a possible 4. That was such a blessing and there was nothing but the sigh of relief heard throughout the education department. Well, that, and the sound of students rushing to turn in the last couple of assignments before Christmas break. There was a great amount of grace given to the secondary ed students (myself included) as we were given time to turn in the last assignments which are due Jan 3. Unfortunately, I took advantage of that opportunity and am still pushing to get them all finished. It has been a nice Christmas break in snow-filled Whitefish, Montana. It's all white outside and warm inside with the fire and the scent of homemade tamales and enchiladas in the air.

I have taken up a new hobby (which only took 16 years to actually persevere). I am practicing my Crochet skills and am doing pretty well if I do say so myself. I'm about 1/3 way done with a scarf, I've finished a flower (needs a little work) and I made a pan-handle cover for my mom's skillet. That was the first project (scarf turned pan handle cover). Even though it doesn't look too good, my mom loves it so that's all that counts right?

I'm just plugging along trying to finish this 3 week unit and then I should be done with the hw and completely finished with the semester. :)

TPA 2

This past semester I've been in the Credentialing Program at The Master's College. It has been quite the emotional/physical/mental roller coaster as I've struggled with deciding whether or not this teaching thing is really for me. I've dealt with issues that have pushed me to my limit, others that have literally broken me. And yet I still believe that God has called me to do this with faith and obedience as my tools to push through and succeed.

You'll notice my title is TPA- Teacher Performance Assessment. These are beasts. There are four of them in the year long program and we've finished the first and easiest of them all. The 2nd one which I am in the process of slowly tackling, is due on Monday and I have little motivation to continue.

I know that I need to be diligent and disciplined to persevere, I know that I can and will complete it whether or not I like it. But I also know the one thing stopping me from trying is fear. Fear is what brought me to this point and fear is once again holding me back.

God tells me that He has not given me a spirit of fear (timidity), but of power and love and discipline. Why don't I believe Him? Why don't I trust Him and obey Him and love him?

2 weeks until finals. two days until I find out the results of the CSET which will determine whether or not I continue in the spring with the Student Teaching Assignment. 2 hours until I go to bed.

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb 12:1-2

New York!

This last week I had the amazing opportunity to spend time with one of my best friends Ashely Bowman (formerly Bricks). The week went by quickly as we finished the preparations for her wedding and spent time with the wedding party, quading, riding motorcycles, having bon fires and other random fun activities.

The family she married into were such great hosts and welcomed us all into their family for the week. Mrs. Bowman cooked for us and stocked our room full of snacks and ammenities for the whole week. Mr. Bowman worked on remembering our names and trying to learn more about us and our families. It was so nice to just relax and enjoy their company!

It was great to spend a whole week with like-minded people who could just have good clean fun (except for all the mud involved) and be able to worship the Lord through the relationships built.

Sunday a small group of us went into New York City for the day. Adam's brother Aaron and his best man Zach escorted four of us girls and made great companions for the day. They were complete gentlemen, opening every door, paying for all necessary items (subway tickets specifically) and carrying two of the girls' luggage (one was mine) from one end of the city to the other.

It was so great to be able to spend time with guys on such a different level than normal. On the way to the city in the 4 hr car ride we played multiple "get to know you" games like I have never, and Hot Seat. It was the latter game which I enjoyed the most because we got to know everyone on a deeper level without it being awkward or weird. We were all honest and down to earth and no question was off limits. There were some funny questions as well as some very personal, deep, thought provoking questions. I couldn't have asked for a better day or a better group to spend it with. I will always remember this past week.

Some of the random activities we did were lots of picture taking, sight seeing and funniest of all a couple of people in our group did something called "Ghosting". You can youtube it or you can watch our original video :) Let's just say it made for some great laughs.

In all of our fun and despite our every effort, we ended up not being able to make my flight at JFK because of construction on the subways (of course) and a storm between the Staten Island Ferry and the subway. The biggest wind storm I've ever been in kicked up right as we got off the ferry. It was awesome (although it was the guys who had to haul our bags during the whole episode but they insisted. Like I said, they were awesome friends to do that for us.)

In all of it we had such a great time hanging out, talking, taking pictures and just being together it was hard saying goodbye but we'll always have the memories. We even discussed creating a business for Wedding Party Rentals: Just add the Bride and Groom!

Blessed

My boss always says Outblessed and highly favored. I like it. It's a good reminder that we aren't just people on earth living our lives with no rhyme or reason. We were created because Someone loves us and we are valuable. I forget that sometimes.

Anyway, I was just reading some old emails I received a couple years ago during some pretty crazy times in my life. I saved them because everytime I read them they bring tears to my eyes. They also remind me that I have so many people in my life who are such amazing, God-fearing, godly, loving people who encourage me everytime I talk to them. I have been blessed.

Thank you friends! You all have stuck around and put up with my sillyness and I love you for it!

Current Encouragments

So i just finished reading a blog and learned what NSV means (Non Scale Victory). I love it. And just this weekend I experienced my first! My friend begged me to go to the gym with her and i was hesitant b/c I just didn't feel like going. But in the end I went and ended up blowing my previous time out of the water.
I jogged for 24 minutes at 4.5 mph (which is both the longest and fastest I've ever jogged) and went 2.25 miles total (including a 6 min warmup and a 3 min cool down) for a total of about 33-34 min on the treadmil. It was amazing. I felt SO good. Two times I wanted to stop b/c i was in pain but I decided to keep going and both times it brought a smile to my face knowing I pushed my self.
Then this morning I woke up at 5:45 (2nd victory) and went for a 2 and a half mile jog/walk. There is a hill I have to go up which is killer but I actually jogged about 1/4 way up which I thought was IMPOSSIBLE. I started jogging, warmed up and finished jogging about .75 miles into it and that's when I started walking the rest of the way up the hill. Half way up the hill brought me to a mile. Then there was another little hill that I walked up and then jogged another half mile. I finished having gone a total of 2.70 miles.

VICTORY IS MINE! :D I never thought I'd be able to go that far and jog a good part of it. Next time (wednesday morning) I'm going to try to make it half way up the hill. I'll let you all know when I've jogged the whole way up. Not for awhile though :P

my weight goal status

Current Weight	182.0 pounds
Goal Weight	158 pounds
Goal Date	Sep 11, 2010
Rate of Change	1 lb/week

Today I had a banana,

half a grapefruit,

carrots and hummus

and some kettle corn. All of it tasted soooo good :)

My "New" Diet Plan

Ever since I was 13 I have struggled with my weight. I've tried diet after diet, and "exercise plan" after "exercise plan" and nothing has worked. By that I mean, I haven't committed to anything for more than a couple of weeks at a time. My plan for exercise was go one day, work as hard as I possible can (over do it), wake up the next morning feeling defeated and in pain. Stop until I feel better. Start a month later doing the same thing. This pattern of Yo Yo dieting has left me completely discouraged and disgusted with myself.

This time I decided is different. I now have a goal, a plan to reach that goal, and a buddy system all to help me reach my desired weight. I started monday at the gym running on the treadmill for a total of 35 minutes. Dinner that night wasn't too supportive of my new plan but I justified that at the gym. I warmed up for 5 min, ran for ten min at a speed of 4.5 and then walked for 5 at 3.0 then ran another 10 min at 4.5 and then cooled down for 4-5 min. I felt good.

Then I woke up the next morning.

I felt like an old lady, all day tues and today I've had trouble walking because my hips hurt so bad. I realized I'm already starting off on the wrong foot. I over did it at the gym and now i am less than excited about going back. Not only that but Monday and Tuesday I cheated a little by eating sugar and some other stuff I wasn't supposed to have.

My friend Ashley is on the same "diet" because of her health. It is absolutely mandatory that she stick to this strict way of eating. I'm just doing it because I can loose weight quickly without starving myself and without cutting out everything I love to eat.

It's the gluten, wheat, dairy, sugar-free diet. Ok, so I had to cut out a lot of stuff that I love but it's easier than counting calories, no carbs, and the Nutrisystem diet where you eat microwaved cardboard. I can still have fruits and veggies, rice (white or brown...brown is obviously better), corn (which includes chips and taco shells at a minimum), potatoes sometimes (hello sweet potato fries) and lots of other stuff. I just have to be careful with how much I eat which is true for any diet you're on. It really is a great way to eat and I feel SO good when I'm on it. I just have to remember that food isn't here for me to find pleasure in (although sometimes its ok as long as I'm being self-controlled) but its here to nourish me in order to live and serve God.

It's so good to have a friend who can encourage me and who I can encourage to reach goals and to live a healthy life. SO in order to keep a diary of what I've eaten I'll be keeping it here. This is help me because I'll have to remember that millions of people (or maybe just the one or two that actually read this....sometimes) can see what I've had to eat and can give me the "eye" or lecture when I've strayed from my diet.

Breakfast:
Rice chex with Almond milk (a cup maybe?)
Half a grapefruit.

Snack:
*Gulp* salt and vinegar potato chips (a handful)
Banana (great combo eh?)

Lunch:
Chipotle burrito bowl-Steak, rice, black beans, peppers and onions, salsa, lettuce, and guacamole ....and yes I got a bag of chips BUT I didn't all of them. I shared the rest with my coworkers :)

Snack:
Will be some kettle corn which I will share as well.

I'm not sure about what I'm going to eat for dinner but I am definitely encouraged and ready to stay true to this diet today :).

Shortcomings

Today my eyes were opened once more to my shortcomings as my attitude was much less than pleasant as I was getting ready to leave for work. My mom reminded me of the gift my job started out to be as it was only by God's provision that I was given this opportunity...and I responded in frustration because I know it is a gift, but I don't always (if ever) act as if it truly is.

I opened up The Valley of Vision this morning to the prayer on Shortcomings. I hope it encourages you as it did me.

O Living God,

I bless thee

That I see the worst of my heart as well as the best of it,

that I can sorrow for those sins that carry me from thee,

that it is thy deep and dear mercy to threaten punishment so that I may return, pray, live.

My sin is to look on my faults and be discouraged,

or to look on my good and be puffed up.

I fall short of thy glory every day by spending hours unprofitably,

by thinking that the things I do are good,

when they are not done to thy end,

nor spring from the rules of they Word.

My sin is to fear what never will be;

I forget to submit to thy will, and fail to be quiet there.

But Scripture teaches me that thy active will

reveals a steadfast purpose on my behalf,

and this quietens my soul, and makes me love thee.

Keep me always in the understanding

that saints mourn more for sin than other men,

for when they see how great is thy wrath against sin,

and how Christ's death alone pacifies that wrath,

that makes them mourn the more.

Help me to see that although I am in the wilderness (which i'm not really)

it is not all briars and barrenness.

I have bread from heaven, streams from the rock,

light by day, fire by night,

thy dwelling place and thy mercy seat.

I am sometimes discouraged by the way,

but though winding and trying it is safe and short;

Death dismays me, but my great high priest stands in its waters,

and will open me a passage,

and beyond is a better country.

While I live let my life be exemplary,

When I die may my end be peace.

This is my prayer for today